MissMeikakuna

The sound of Michael Bublé on repeat almost hid the low electronic buzz. Almost. Santa Clause was in a three-month long Bublé mood for reasons unbeknownst to anyone but a singular elf. Those weren’t the only sounds, though. Eccentric whizzes of spinning machine arms, the cranks of levers, cogs turning. Most importantly, quiet chatter and occasional grumbles. Rows upon rows of green and red-clad elves sat and packed toys into boxes. They did their ribbon-adorned origami quickly enough to catch up to the toy-making machines. At one end of the aquatic centre-sized room was a row of desks with elves dressed in gold and silver filling in paperwork. The workload had doubled in the past month due to a certain upcoming holiday. A bright-faced, chubby, tall elf with curly hair as rosy as her cheeks walked down an aisle. Her gold and silver dress swayed back and forth as she moved, shimmying when she tapped a short elf on the shoulder. ‘Passing on a message from Mr Claus. Your new

Chapter 6: Karen and The Manager vs Society Kyle, Sharon and Carol sat by the dining table. ‘What’s up with mum?’ Carol asked, stirring the chocolate powder in her cup of milk. It was nighttime and Karen had already gone to sleep. The three children were lit by the flashlight feature on their phones, unwilling to turn on the kitchen lights and risk awakening their mother. The room still reeked of lavender and honey, which would be nice if it wasn’t so potent. Karen had a habit of leaving the oil diffuser on for hours. ‘It’s that dumb business she’s started,’ Kyle answered, slamming his fist against the table. Sharon nodded. ‘She tried to put oil in my ear last night. Claimed it could help me get to sleep. As if I could sleep if I’m worried about getting shit poured in my ear.’ ‘So… what do we do?’ Kyle asked. The other two shrugged, then Carol took a sip of her homemade chocolate milk. Sharon absentmindedly tapped the placemat in front of her. They collectively sighed. The next

Chapter 5: Karen vs Nature Friendful was a powerful app. It could connect mothers from all over the world, allow them to give advice and, most importantly, distract Karen from memories of a particular wavy-haired temptress. She wrote a post about her children’s angry behaviour and received a wide array of suggestions, from herbal tea to fresh pee. One mother believed Karen’s children had autism and that she should try calming essential oils. That option certainly seemed more beneficial than drinking human waste, so Karen asked for details. The mother sent a link to her work Friendful page, where she advertised the essential oils from a company called WonderLiving. Karen grinned. Wow, a person with her own business was going out of her way to help a stranger like her! The page included many posts with the hashtag #girlpharaoh accompanying essential oils, which the page claimed to be based on Ancient Egyptian medicine and made with “all-natural ingredients”. The oil blends all had

Chapter 4: The Manager vs God Carol and Sharon were arguing in the kitchen. Kyle was holed in his room with his cheap gamer headphones on and Kero Kero Bonito playing loudly in his ears. Anything to block out the yelling. Sharon was the loudest but Carol was the one with the clever comebacks. Well, she thought they were clever anyway. What was the topic that tore this household apart? Whose job it was to take out the rubbish. Karen had tried to calm them down but was now sitting by the kitchen bench with her head in her hands. She eventually stood up and walked to Kyle’s room to confirm something. He was now swearing at a rival player in a game. She saw all the empty cans and dirty clothes on the floor. She went to her bedroom, took out her phone and began her search for babysitters on Friendful Marketplace. The next day, she told the babysitter all she needed to know and made her way out into the outdoors. The sun dipped her smiling lips in a golden feeling of freedom. After a

Chapter 3: Karen vs Karen It became a weekly ritual: Karen and Frema shopped on Frema’s day off, Karen said something embarrassing, Frema’s ugly laugh resonated through Karen’s soul. Just a typical interaction between gal pals. Their conversation topics were often benign and ordinary: work, the weather (which mainly consisted of Karen ranting and Frema giggling) and the footy (which garnered tirades in equal measure from both Karen and Frema). Whenever Karen brought up her own kids, Frema listened silently but added nothing to the conversation. Her face went solemn, only for her to laugh again when Karen complained about the weather again. One fateful day, the bananas rose in price again. Frema winced, expecting a fit of rage from the other woman. Instead, Karen quietly complained and added an unexpected comment. ‘Well, maybe there were some issues with the supply.’ She picked up a bruised, almost caramel-hued banana at its end like a dirty napkin. ‘These do look pretty

Chapter 2: Karen vs The Supermarket Upon seeing the banana prices outside a local grocery store, Karen received a rude awakening. They were even higher than in the supermarket! Sure, they seemed to be a smidge better in quality, but if she bought a kilogram of these, she would have to only buy half a kilogram of grapes and that simply would not do. If Kyle punched one more hole in the wall, Karen was sure the wall would crumble and the ceiling would fall on top of him. She weighed her options. Would it be worth it to drive to a cheaper grocery store? How much did petrol cost that day? Eventually, she compromised and pulled a couple of bananas off the bunch to make it lighter. Keeping Kyle’s hunger for grapes satiated was much more important than some bananas. She went inside the store to pay for groceries, grumbling about the prices to the poor woman at the register. The sun was just beginning to set when Karen was done with all her shopping. Her back was sore from hunching over

Chapter 1: Karen vs The Manager The bananas were not on sale. The catalogue said they were on sale. Sure, the catalogue ended the previous day, but wasn’t that unfair to people who couldn’t shop that day? Some people had to work. Karen made her points very clear to a pimply-faced teenage boy trying to stack shelves. She was calm and classy and- ‘Let me speak to the manager! Clearly, you can’t help me!’ Admittedly, a hair in Karen’s asymmetrical blonde bob may have fallen out of place. She pushed it back into place and glared daggers at the boy, who spoke into his headset while Karen rapidly tapped her feet. ‘I see the manager’s taking his sweet time. Honestly, the customer service here is-’ ‘What appears to be the problem?’ Karen turned towards the deep but feminine voice. When she saw the manager, she instinctively held her breath. The manager stood tall and slim. Her black wavy hair fell to her shoulders, just short enough to not require being pulled back in a ponytail. Her

Rated: K+ (The plus is due to canon-compliant beer and violence. Other than that, I made it as family-friendly as I could.) Fandom: Beauty and the Beast Pairing Type: M/M Pairings: Gaston/The Beast, Lumiere/Cogsworth Potential content warnings: References to beer and light references to homophobia. Description: Ah yes, a man falling for a male furry creature, a tale as old as time. Wait, what? In an alternate timeline, Gaston spots Maurice's horse before Belle does and decides to save Maurice to earn Belle's affection. He is so excited to do this that he forgets to bring weapons and, unable to win a fight against the Beast, he takes Maurice's place as the castle's prisoner. The last thing he expected was for the Beast to have a kind and gentle side. After all, how could someone ever learn to love a beast, especially a man as intent on shielding his genuine emotions as Gaston? Lumiere and Cogsworth bicker over the possibility of a relationship between Gaston and the